The 35th Street Review

Three things that will determine which is the one true Sock:

I’ll Tell You What You Can Do With Your Career Totals: At the trade deadline, The White Sox added a sure-fire Hall of Famer while the Red Sox sent one away. The Carmines have since gone 5-1 while the Medias Blancas are 3-4.

Four Score and Seven Games Behind the Rays: The White Sox are 1-3-2 in four-game series to Boston’s 5-1-1. It’s as though the Good Guys weren’t, you know, well-equipped to win a short series.

Sock it to Me: Inexplicably, the South Siders are just marginally outslugging the BoSox (.448 to .441). Then again, Boston’s bullpen isn’t anchored exclusively by mop-up specialists. “Exclusively” as in even if it’s not a five-run game when the Good Guy comes in, it surely will be by the time he leaves.

Outlook: Red Sox 3, White Sox 1.

Hey kids, it’s time for the MLB.com back-to-school sale! Among the featured items in the White Sox collection:

• Thirteen varieties of baseball cap, even though the CPS has supposedly strict rules against wearing non-religious headgear on school property. You know, gangs and stuff.
• 27″x37″ Flag, easily too large for any school locker.
• Officially Licensed Counter-Top Refrigerator for all those South Side Sodas, bro.
• Chicago White Sox 2005 World Series edition of Monopoly, perfect for clinging to the past - just like the grown-ups do!

The apparent demand for these products can only lead us to the same conclusion MLB’s market research apparently reached: school-aged Sox fans are willing to get overly nostalgic for the recent past, get 4.3 cubic feet of drunk, or get shot at for their team. Don’t ever grow up. Ever.

• Back to School 2008 [MLB.com]

Who you callin’ “ace”?

On the civic pros and cons of having your team play in a weird neighborhood.

How can the Sox possibly beat the rest of the league? Exactly.