Well, so much for commiting any acts of authority.

So the Twins beat the Angels, the Good Guys lost the home run derby to the Rays, and once again we’re talking about “must win” games in a division full of supposed losers. So where do things go from here? Same as they always do for a team that puts up its four-spot against the winningest team in baseball armed only with (sigh) a pair of two-run homers.

K: A sweep by the Rays is not just a loss in the standings, even if the Twins go 0-for-the-rest-of-the-weekend, but inevitably a slight loss of morale and hope for we the faithful. Yes, seeing them lose to the Angels may offer a glimmer of hope that the Twins are doomed against the top-tier teams of the American League, but we all know the Sox haven’t fared much (or any) better.

BB: The Good Guys win the next two, which means the Sox actually belong in the discussion of legitimate teams, and the Twins lose their next two, meaning they don’t. The Sox would be half a game up going into what should be a take-3-of-4 series at Baltimore, and all would be well.

HR: Ideally, neither Tampa Bay nor the Twins bother to show up today and tomorrow. Perhaps Joe Maddon could forget to purchase a new CTA pass, or Andy Sonnanstine could get in a fight leaving Gamekeepers and spend the weekend at the 18th District bed and breakfast. And, you know, if the Twins forgot how to score runs using things like timely hits and fundamentally sound baseball, that would be alright as well.

Seriously, last night the Twins beat one of the two best teams in the sport 9-0 without drawing a single walk while the White Sox lost to the other best team in the sport 9-4 by drawing six and only bringing one of them home. There has to be some kind of symbolism in that.