J.J. Putz is Jake Peavy.
Seriously hurt in 2009. Ready to win in 2010. Great when he’s great. Terrifying when he’s not.

J.J. Putz is Scott Linebrink.
Delivering elite performances along the the anonymous shores of the west coast for most of the decade. Fell off in a big way with his new team. Capable of sub-2.00 ERAs. Also capable of ERAs in excess of 5.00. Has facial hair.

J.J. Putz is Octavio Dotel.
Fantastic in ways that overshadow the overall averageness of his existence. Terrible in New York.

J.J. Putz is Matt Thornton.
Ex-Mariner. Flamethrowing. Roughly a 1.0 K/9. Born in Michigan. Tall.

J.J. Putz is Bobby Jenks.
Notched exactly 40 saves in 2007 for teams that won only slightly more than 40 games. Also filled out the American League bullpen in that year’s All-Star Game.

J.J. Putz is 2008 Jermaine Dye – (2006 A.J. Pierzynski * 2).
Received 12 vote points for Most Valuable Player in 2007.

J.J. Putz is Nick Swisher.
Great ERA. Can’t play the outfield to save his life.

J.J. Putz is Omar Vizquel.
Also a former Mariner, but missed being teammates by ten years. Ten!

J.J. Putz is Andruw Jones.
Both swiped the same number of bases in 2008. Zero, in case you were wondering.

J.J. Putz is Orlando Hernandez.
Coming off of injury. Known to be brilliant. Known also to break down. Longtime object of White Sox affection. Possibly key to future success. Undeniably superior to the alternative.