I. The universe, correcting itself, will leave the Sox crushed.

Remember all that stuff about the Sox wailing on superior teams, thus rendering superior teams non-superior and putting the Sox technically atop a pile of American League corpses? Yeah, those days are probably over. Mike Scioscia, sharp cookie that he is, will be managing to get his team ready to hold their own other good teams; Ozzie Guillen, no slouch by any means, finds himself managing an early Spring Training session. Scioscia plays for today; Guillen can worry about that tomorrow. Fun as it might sound to believe the Sox can play spoiler, the only thing the Good Guys have spoiled is what outside chance at the postseason they ever had in the first place.

II. So many light years to go. . .

. . . with the magic number at 17 and the Tigers playing the Blue Jays, expect a weekend of stagnation where the Good Guys’ euthanization is concerned.

III. The 2009 American League Central might be the worst division of all time.

Discussing the lamest non-race of all time, everyone points to the 2006 National League Central (the one the Cardinals won with a laughable 83 wins, but at least had injuries to key personnel to hide behind before laying waste to the playoff pack). The Sox, right now, at 70-71, sit six behind the division-“leading” Tigers, who in turn sit nine back from the Angels in the race for home-field advantage. Nine games. To take it a step further, the Tigers would find themselves stuck in a deserved third place in the West, while the third-place Mariners would be thinking “October” in the Central right now. What’s that, you say? The West only has four teams? That’s irrelevant, because by my count the Central only has three.