Officially teams can’t make any moves (aside from bullpen moves by the Red Sox which will probably reap great dividends and have us all cursing both team and player alike. Someone one asked me to name a reliever worse than Dewon Day, and apart from guys who made one appearance I couldn’t think of any. None. Best of luck out there, or at least the kind of luck that doesn’t involve beating the White Sox; people forget Day was once a highly-touted prospect, although that’s understandable considering how much easier it is to remember the game against Baltimore where he gave up four runs without recording an out, or the 34 pitches in one-third of an inning against Boston, or the two runs he contributed to that 20-14 loss to the Twins.), but that doesn’t mean it’s too early to suggest idiotic maneuvers. Or are they really all that idiotic?

Actually, yes. The results of an informal poll taken of non-experts at strange hours this weekend, in order of ridiculousness and plausibility:

1. Trade Bobby Jenks. Not likely to happen, but only for the exact same reasons it would be smart if it did. Jenks is a proven closer (a fairly rare commodity) with big game experience, he’s still cheap, heading into arbitration, and smoothly making that flamethrower-to-master-tradesman transition. Or, depending on your viewpoint, he’s a guy with nagging injury tweaks who’s going to stay large, and history has not been kind to that type of power pitcher. No one is saying (or even advocating) they absolutely get rid of him, but if there’s a time to cash him in this is it.

2. Sign Orlando Hudson. Not actually that outlandish a proposition, but considering the dearth of slick-fielding second basemen known to be on the market this winter, expect Hudson’s pricetag to go way up, especially with Mark Ellis now locked up by Oakland. Some may say to trade for Brian Roberts, which wouldn’t be bad but would surely be a one-year acquisition at best, although this may conversely allow exactly enough time for Chris Getz to continue his emergence. If the Sox land him, expect a huge drop-off in his bat thanks to the NL-AL switch as well – another factor which could make Roberts the more compelling option should the Sox stick with the same offensive philosophy they’ve clung to for most of the past, oh, 13 years.

3. Trade Paul Konerko. His stock is at an all-time low, he has no-trade protection by way of his 10/5 rights, sending the captain packing would be marketing suicide for a reigning division champion and the Sox’ plan B for first base is an even worse option. And this, dear readers, is why you should never talk to strangers about offseason moves in bars.