Thirty-eight days remain until the trading deadline, and even the most casual observer can tell these Sox are not bulletproof. “Problems?” you may ask. “The only problem is that we’re less than ten games up.”

But we know that’s not true. We know there is a lot that’s good about this team, but we know there’s plenty that isn’t as well. A limited offensive attack. Questionable baserunning augmented by non-existent base stealing. Streaky hitting. But again, we already knew that.

Given the almost impossible task of controlling the batting order for more than one half of an inning, the only real ways to limit those offensive woes will be to either drop some of the dead or struggling weight, or to upgrade drastically in those one through three spots in the batting order. “Trade for Brian Roberts,” some say. “Send the farm to Seattle for Ichiro,” others will suggest. This sentiment will be echoed all the way around the league, but the punchline will stay the same: it is impossible for the White Sox to upgrade at the top of the order right now.

If we’re looking at true leadoff hitters that would be worth the surrendered players, we’ve already cut the list of targets down to 29 players. Common sense demands we eliminate the other four teams in the AL Central (yes, even Kansas City), so now we’re looking at a pool of 25.

Now take out teams that are surely not in subtraction mode, i.e. teams in the lead or in legitimate contention and already have what they need at the top. In the interest of being realistic, we’ll count the following teams as still in it: LAA, Oakland, Boston, Tampa Bay, NYY, Toronto, Philly, Florida, Cubs, Arizona, and the Dodgers. This brings us down to 14 possible acquisitions:

• Seattle: Ichiro. Never happening. Ever.
• Mets: Jose Reyes. Same story.
• Texas: Ian Kinsler is good, and plays second on top of that, but bats are all the Rangers have.
• Batlimore: Same story for Brian Roberts, but Baltimore would want more than the Sox could possibly offer. The O’s already have enough at third in Melvin Mora to negate any need for Josh Fields, and the Sox already shipped out their top pitching prospects for Nick Swisher.
• Yankees: Johnny Damon. Pass.
• Nationals: Felipe Lopez. Also plays second and currently hitting .248. The Sox already have one of these.
• Braves: Kelly Johnson. Same as Nationals’ Lopez.
• Reds: Corey Patterson. .129/.229/.343. You’ve got to be kidding me.
• Astros: Michael Bourn. .295 OBP. Pass.
• Pirates: Nate McClouth and Freddie Sanchez. Sanchez is struggling too much to be a useful midseason addition, and even the Bucs can’t be foolish enough to ship out McClouth.
• Brewers: Future Hall-of-Fame 2B Rickie Weeks is hitting .210. Forget it.
• Cardinals: Skip Schumaker, OF. Currently boasts a .309/.373/.445 line. Twenty-eight years old. Making league minimum. File under “Sox don’t have the chips.”
• Colorado: Willy Taveras. Stole five bases in one game against the Sox last Saturday. Batting .240. Plays outfield. The Sox already have two of these, just without the whole base stealing thing. And don’t even joke about getting Pods back.
• Giants: Fred Lewis, OF, with a line of .288/.364/.475, 12 stolen bases and 27 of his 96 hits for extra bases. Intriguing option, but the Giants’ options right now are to either admit they hate their fans by trading away their emerging stars, or pretend they don’t by shedding payroll and building for the future. Either way, someone like Lewis would go for a huge ransom and the Sox, again, couldn’t possibly have either the pieces San Francisco would demand or room for yet another outfielder.
• San Diego: Jody Gerut, .279/.354/.395. OF. Whatever.

It’s admittedly premature to write off that many teams, but no more premature than talking about ways to Octoberize this particular team. Unfortunately, the Sox are most likely out of trading chips if they’re in it, or would be committing suicide by turning any of their so-so Big Club players into any deal less than spectacular. Organizational stubbornness will probably keep Swisher around forever; ditto for Carlos Quentin and most of the pitching staff, and it’s hard to see what clubs would trade viable talent for Jim Thome.

What’s more, the Sox tried to give away Juan Uribe earlier this year but no one would take him. No one! Idiotic Garbage Players A, B, C and D for Superstar X deals are immeasurably stupid to hope for, so we as fans might as well embrace the present. In truth, the problem with getting a great leadoff or top of the order guy isn’t so much that Orlando Cabrera, Alexei Ramirez, Jerry Owens et al are necessarily bad at leading off, but that not a whole lot of people are really all that good at it.

But again, we already knew that.